Thank-you to All who did a PAAD/BOLD 2012 Event

Wow - some of the many countries who participated.
If you are not here - please send in your pics and we will update.

The Victimized Child and Combating Parental Alienation

There is no easy way to combat alienation especially if it has taken place for a long period of time and the alienated parent has had little contact with the child. One might say the alienator has won and has the complete control of the child in this scenario. The two (the alienator and the child) then are a ‘team’ who work totally against the alienated parent for the purpose of humiliating and rejecting that parent from having contact with the victimized child.

Some of the methods that are recommended for dealing with the process of alienation may seem extreme but it is an extreme situation that one is facing when dealing with the overwhelming power of the alienator. Typical therapeutic methods are ineffective when dealing with such problems. Very firm approaches are required and these must be backed unequivocally by the court in order for them to have an effect in debriefing the victim of the alienation (the child). This sometimes places the therapist in a dangerous situation for he or she may be accused of being to firm in seeking to reverse the alienation effects. A combination of both reason and emotion but most of all firmness must be shown to the child to make them aware of the damage that has and is being done by continuing to live with such a negative attitude towards one parent. This is of course assuming that the alienated parent is innocent of all physical, sexual or emotional abuse.

Again there will be overlap in the suggestions made to reduce the effects of alienation:

1. Destroy the effects of denigration by one parent towards the other by making the child aware of the happy history before the acrimony and separation between the parents occurred.

2. Get the child to see the good points about the denigrated parent.

3. Be firm and proactive in changing attitudes and behaviour that have caused the parental alienation.

4. Try to get the alienating parent to cooperate in stopping the alienation. This is easier said than done, and many alienators will refuse to cooperate in this although claiming otherwise. This is even the case when it is highlighted that such actions are actually harmful to the child’s development.

5. Appeal to the child’s conscience that he or she is rejecting, hurting, and humiliating an innocent party who cares for that child.

6. Have the child together with the alienated parent in due course while seeking to change both attitudes and behaviour via rational emotive therapy. There is a need in this process for very firm communications.

7. Make the child aware of what a blood relative might sacrifice for that child which is not the case for strangers.

8. Warn the parent who alienates the child of the harm that they are doing to the child not just in the present time but in the future also.

9. Appeal to the child’s critical thinking (intelligence and emotions) and make the child aware of the unfairness and cruelty in rejecting a loving parent.

10. Make the child aware that they need both parents without endangering the relationship with the alienating parent.

11. Make the child aware that they may lose a good parent if the process of alienation continues.

12. The child should be made aware that the extended family of the alienated parent is also being unfairly rejected.

13. Encourage the child not only to engage with the alienated parent but with the alienated parent’s extended family, i.e. grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles, etc. This will serve to reverse the alienation process.

14. Curtail or eliminate telephone calls and other communications from the programming parent while the child is with the non-custodial parent.

Read More :http://www.parental-alienation.info/publications/24-sigofparalisynandhowtocouitseff.htm

How do you handle visiting with your child, if you are the alienated parent? How do you keep the visit a positive, happy and loving time? How do you deal with fears the child may have about your visit and spending time with you?

Wed Jan 25th@7pm EST - "Family Matters" Online Radio Show

Wed Jan 25th@7pm EST - "Family Matters" Online Radio Show

Jill Egizii and Judge Michele Lowrance's guest will again be Toronto Lawyer Brian Ludmer. Brain has been a Lawyer for over 20 years - a greater part recently engaged in Family Law in Ontario CANADA.

He will bring his viewpoints on how Canadian Courts are changing their attitudes to PA and it will likely provide an interesting international dialogue that "compares and contrasts" American and Canadian legal procedures and progress in dealing effectively with this damaging behaviour.

Tune-in Wed Jan 25th@7PM EST at www.SyndicatedNews.Net or www.BlogTalkRadio.com.
Call-in your questions at (347) 539-5024

What Older People Know - " 30 Lessons for Living"

This reminds me of a book that came out in 2004 called "What Happy People Know" by Dan BAKER Ph.d that was presented as a fairly radical change in the study of human behaviour - specifically a better understanding of what constitutes "happiness".   The title struck me as rather glib if not an outright parody at the time but the radical approach was a rejection of traditional medical methods as applied in psychology that consider "unhappiness" (characterized in it's most extreme form as depression) as being caused in by a deficit of some kind - emotional or mental.  This was likened to engineers "studying bridge failures in order to understand good bridge design".  The better approach was to study and ask self-identified "happy" people why they were so and seek to gain better insights into what common attitudes and experiences made them this way. I strongly recommend it.

This new book project appears to have been born from the same method.

Wed Jan 11@7pm EST - "Family Matters" Online Radio Show

Jill Egizii and Michele Lowrance's guest will be Toronto Lawyer Brian Ludmer.  Brain has been a Lawyer for over 20 years - a greater part recently engaged in Family Law in Ontario CANADA.

He will bring his viewpoints on how Canadian Courts are changing their attitudes to PA and it will likely provide an interesting international dialogue that "compares and contrasts" American and Canadian legal procedures and progress in dealing effectively with this damaging behaviour.

Tune-in Wed Jan 11@7PM EST at www.SyndicatedNews.Net  or  www.BlogTalkRadio.com.
Call-in your questions at (347) 539-5024

An interesting film project about Psychopaths

Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year

To everyone - a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year.
(Here is link to Dec PAAO Newsletter)

Wed Nov 30@7pm EDT - Jill interviews Dr. Keri DAY

Dr. Keri Day of Brite Divinity School/Texas Christian University will discuss the importance of families to children.


http://www.blogtalkradio.com/syndicatednews/2011/12/01/keri-day-asst-profof-theological-and-social-ethics

PAAO MOvember 2011 Newsletter

Ok - it's here!  The November 2011 PAO newsletter has been emailed.

It is chock full of excellent articles, idea's, notices and international, national and  local events of interest to PAAO members and supporters.

To receive every month, subscribe HERE.

[Also please remember MOvember - to raise awareness about Men's Health issues and Prostate Cancer.]

KAPAAO - Kids Aiding PAAO Xmas Greeting

KAPAAO (or Kids Aiding PAAO) is a special group within PAAO that focuses on PA from a kids point of view and even it has it's own website - kapaao.paawareness.org.  It's efforts are spearheaded by founder Sarvy Emo and Rhonda Pisanello (both former Board Members).

KAPAAO's mascot is the ever popular character - Panda Abuzz.  Panda is one of our most popular items because many supporters find he makes an ideal gift for their kids to remind them how much they are loved.  Panda is soft, cuddly and small enough (25cm - 10in high) to be stuffed into backpacks AND he has an important heart-shaped message written on each paw - "I luv mom" and "I luv dad".  You can order Panda here.

To anyone with young kids grappling with Parental Alienation - we suggest you visit for useful tips and ideas.

Here is a Xmas Greeting