Thank-you to All who did a PAAD/BOLD 2012 Event

Wow - some of the many countries who participated.
If you are not here - please send in your pics and we will update.

The Victimized Child and Combating Parental Alienation

There is no easy way to combat alienation especially if it has taken place for a long period of time and the alienated parent has had little contact with the child. One might say the alienator has won and has the complete control of the child in this scenario. The two (the alienator and the child) then are a ‘team’ who work totally against the alienated parent for the purpose of humiliating and rejecting that parent from having contact with the victimized child.

Some of the methods that are recommended for dealing with the process of alienation may seem extreme but it is an extreme situation that one is facing when dealing with the overwhelming power of the alienator. Typical therapeutic methods are ineffective when dealing with such problems. Very firm approaches are required and these must be backed unequivocally by the court in order for them to have an effect in debriefing the victim of the alienation (the child). This sometimes places the therapist in a dangerous situation for he or she may be accused of being to firm in seeking to reverse the alienation effects. A combination of both reason and emotion but most of all firmness must be shown to the child to make them aware of the damage that has and is being done by continuing to live with such a negative attitude towards one parent. This is of course assuming that the alienated parent is innocent of all physical, sexual or emotional abuse.

Again there will be overlap in the suggestions made to reduce the effects of alienation:

1. Destroy the effects of denigration by one parent towards the other by making the child aware of the happy history before the acrimony and separation between the parents occurred.

2. Get the child to see the good points about the denigrated parent.

3. Be firm and proactive in changing attitudes and behaviour that have caused the parental alienation.

4. Try to get the alienating parent to cooperate in stopping the alienation. This is easier said than done, and many alienators will refuse to cooperate in this although claiming otherwise. This is even the case when it is highlighted that such actions are actually harmful to the child’s development.

5. Appeal to the child’s conscience that he or she is rejecting, hurting, and humiliating an innocent party who cares for that child.

6. Have the child together with the alienated parent in due course while seeking to change both attitudes and behaviour via rational emotive therapy. There is a need in this process for very firm communications.

7. Make the child aware of what a blood relative might sacrifice for that child which is not the case for strangers.

8. Warn the parent who alienates the child of the harm that they are doing to the child not just in the present time but in the future also.

9. Appeal to the child’s critical thinking (intelligence and emotions) and make the child aware of the unfairness and cruelty in rejecting a loving parent.

10. Make the child aware that they need both parents without endangering the relationship with the alienating parent.

11. Make the child aware that they may lose a good parent if the process of alienation continues.

12. The child should be made aware that the extended family of the alienated parent is also being unfairly rejected.

13. Encourage the child not only to engage with the alienated parent but with the alienated parent’s extended family, i.e. grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles, etc. This will serve to reverse the alienation process.

14. Curtail or eliminate telephone calls and other communications from the programming parent while the child is with the non-custodial parent.

Read More :http://www.parental-alienation.info/publications/24-sigofparalisynandhowtocouitseff.htm

How do you handle visiting with your child, if you are the alienated parent? How do you keep the visit a positive, happy and loving time? How do you deal with fears the child may have about your visit and spending time with you?

Wed Jan 25th@7pm EST - "Family Matters" Online Radio Show

Wed Jan 25th@7pm EST - "Family Matters" Online Radio Show

Jill Egizii and Judge Michele Lowrance's guest will again be Toronto Lawyer Brian Ludmer. Brain has been a Lawyer for over 20 years - a greater part recently engaged in Family Law in Ontario CANADA.

He will bring his viewpoints on how Canadian Courts are changing their attitudes to PA and it will likely provide an interesting international dialogue that "compares and contrasts" American and Canadian legal procedures and progress in dealing effectively with this damaging behaviour.

Tune-in Wed Jan 25th@7PM EST at www.SyndicatedNews.Net or www.BlogTalkRadio.com.
Call-in your questions at (347) 539-5024

What Older People Know - " 30 Lessons for Living"

This reminds me of a book that came out in 2004 called "What Happy People Know" by Dan BAKER Ph.d that was presented as a fairly radical change in the study of human behaviour - specifically a better understanding of what constitutes "happiness".   The title struck me as rather glib if not an outright parody at the time but the radical approach was a rejection of traditional medical methods as applied in psychology that consider "unhappiness" (characterized in it's most extreme form as depression) as being caused in by a deficit of some kind - emotional or mental.  This was likened to engineers "studying bridge failures in order to understand good bridge design".  The better approach was to study and ask self-identified "happy" people why they were so and seek to gain better insights into what common attitudes and experiences made them this way. I strongly recommend it.

This new book project appears to have been born from the same method.

Wed Jan 11@7pm EST - "Family Matters" Online Radio Show

Jill Egizii and Michele Lowrance's guest will be Toronto Lawyer Brian Ludmer.  Brain has been a Lawyer for over 20 years - a greater part recently engaged in Family Law in Ontario CANADA.

He will bring his viewpoints on how Canadian Courts are changing their attitudes to PA and it will likely provide an interesting international dialogue that "compares and contrasts" American and Canadian legal procedures and progress in dealing effectively with this damaging behaviour.

Tune-in Wed Jan 11@7PM EST at www.SyndicatedNews.Net  or  www.BlogTalkRadio.com.
Call-in your questions at (347) 539-5024

An interesting film project about Psychopaths

Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year

To everyone - a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year.
(Here is link to Dec PAAO Newsletter)

Wed Nov 30@7pm EDT - Jill interviews Dr. Keri DAY

Dr. Keri Day of Brite Divinity School/Texas Christian University will discuss the importance of families to children.


http://www.blogtalkradio.com/syndicatednews/2011/12/01/keri-day-asst-profof-theological-and-social-ethics

PAAO MOvember 2011 Newsletter

Ok - it's here!  The November 2011 PAO newsletter has been emailed.

It is chock full of excellent articles, idea's, notices and international, national and  local events of interest to PAAO members and supporters.

To receive every month, subscribe HERE.

[Also please remember MOvember - to raise awareness about Men's Health issues and Prostate Cancer.]

KAPAAO - Kids Aiding PAAO Xmas Greeting

KAPAAO (or Kids Aiding PAAO) is a special group within PAAO that focuses on PA from a kids point of view and even it has it's own website - kapaao.paawareness.org.  It's efforts are spearheaded by founder Sarvy Emo and Rhonda Pisanello (both former Board Members).

KAPAAO's mascot is the ever popular character - Panda Abuzz.  Panda is one of our most popular items because many supporters find he makes an ideal gift for their kids to remind them how much they are loved.  Panda is soft, cuddly and small enough (25cm - 10in high) to be stuffed into backpacks AND he has an important heart-shaped message written on each paw - "I luv mom" and "I luv dad".  You can order Panda here.

To anyone with young kids grappling with Parental Alienation - we suggest you visit for useful tips and ideas.

Here is a Xmas Greeting

PAAO on ShelleeHale.com

PAAO President - Jill EGIZII is being interviewed today on the Shellee Hale Show (it airs on 1150am KKNW in beautiful Belllevue WA).

Tune in and find out more about the what PAAO is doing and support a local radio station.

Ok - lets get serious folks!

Woo Hoo!

Ok Everybody - thank you for getting us this far.  We made it to Round 3!

With over 721 votes we got ranked 182 out of 483 "large" Projects.  Now, we really need to get serious. It's time to bring your "A" Game!

I need everyone to VOTE EVERY DAY FROM now (Nov 14) until Nov 30 - and get your friends and families to join us.   I think we should be able to DOUBLE our vote - don't you?

Lets see if we can get get this baby! 

We are project#acf12035

Don't forget!

CLICK TO VOTE EVERY DAY = HERE!
http://www.avivacommunityfund.org/ideas/acf12035

[And again, thanks to Frances Uhran for the Broker Sponsorship support.]

[Update Dec 4: Unfortunately, with 776 votes we did not make it to the Semi-Finals - but 90 others did. Thank you to everyone who "clicked" for us every day.]

Wed Nov 16@7pm EST - Parental Alienation: Hollywood Style

Bill Hudson joins Family Matters hosted by Jill Egizii & Judge Michele Lowrance here on November 16, 2011 at 7:00 PM EST. During the sixties and seventies, drinking and smoking were an accepted practice around children; and so too was the practice of "parental alienation" a part of the American family dynamic. Bill Hudson will talk about his experience with Parental Alienation. We will also discuss Goldie Hawn's book on Mindful Parenting. 

Check out "Family Matters" Radio on SyndicatedNews.net every other Wednesday night at 7pm EST.
Listen to it LiveStream online and call in your questions to (347) 539-5024. 
(Archive of each show is available online or as downloadable MP3 shortly after broadcast.)


[Update:  Nov 13 - here is link to Bill Hudson's webpage with more details.]

It's Real, It's Here and It Hurts

The Essentials of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS): Its Real, It’s Here and It Hurts. 

Is the title of a new book by Dr. Robert A. Evans and Dr. J. Michael Bone and was released in September 2011.  It grew out of a series of courses they led together starting 4 years ago and Dr Bone says:

The purpose of the book was not to rehash theory or history - it was to help with “how too’s” of dealing with the problem of PA in the adversarial family court system.

A key aspect of PA is that the Alienating Parent exploits a bias of the court to protect children by bringing the entire adversarial system of family law to bear against the alienated parent.  An unintended consequence if there every was one.

It is available at Amazon.com now.

NEWS FLASH!!!  PAAO will be holding a Webinar with Dr. Bone on Thurs Dec 8, 7pm EST on practical approaches to Family Court as addressed in his book.   Complete details with a signup link will be available very soon (Wed Nov 16).

KAPAAO Xmas Cards are now available!

I know - already? 

Yes - Xmas is coming and it's a good time to order your festive KAPAAO Xmas cards.


Check that list now and again closer to the big day, but don't delay!

20 high quality stock cards for C$31.50.

Order via CafePress, here.

KAPAAO will receive a portion of these sale proceeds and we are very grateful for your support.

Panda Abuzz says ``Happy Holidays!``.

Two Family Law shows with the same name - what are the odds!

By happy coincidence - two shows that focus on Family Law issues have the same name:

Family Matters

And both have a strong connection to PAAO.

The first is hosted by our own, multi-talented and hard-working PAAO President - Jill Egizii.   Along with her co-host - Chicago Court Judge Michele Lowrance - the online streaming radio show has been airing since July 2010.   Listeners are invited to call-in their questions to guests (aired every 2 weeks) during the show at (347) 539-5024.

In general, the topics have focused on Parental Alienation and related Family Law issues - and they have had many well-known and not-so-well known guests and cases, including:

• David Goldman - who's son Sean was Parentally Abducted by his then-wife to Brazil in 2006.  This case triggered a successful International Court of the  Hague prosecution to bring Sean home to New Jersey.
• Discussions with many noted researchers and  academics like Dr. Michael Bone, Dr. William Bernet and Dr. Richard Warshak  - and many others about their clinical findings and patient experiences. 
• Celebrity accounts by former musician Bill Hudson and current movie-star Kristy Swanson about how PA has impacted their own lives as alienated parents or children.  
• Plus different viewpoints of Attorneys, Family Law reformers, and many other noted commentators. 

You can download any of Jill & Michele's past segments or tune-in LIVE every second Wednesday at http://syndicatednews.net/

The second show with the same name "Family Matters" is a Canadian TV Program that also focuses on Family Law issues and is hosted by Ontario Judge Harvey Brownstone - and it too has a connection to PAAO.

In his 1st segment aired in September Harvey interviewed PAAO Board-member Rhonda Pisanello about her experiences as a child alienated from her mother.  It was a strong opening for the show that is attempting to gain  greater distribution across the country.

"Judge Brownstone is Canada's version of Dr. Phil and Judge Judy all rolled into one."

Check-out their website http://www.familymatterstv.com/ or tune in on local channels CHCH of Hamilton ON in Southern Ontario and CHEK of Victoria BC in Lower Vancouver Island.

Nov 20 Family Movie: A Christmas Wish

A recent guest on Jill EGIZII's Online Radio show "Family Matters" was actress Kristy Swanson - who shared some of her personal experiences with PA.

As those familiar sleighbell sounds will soon be echoing throughout shopping malls across North America - it is perhaps fitting that she will star in this movie special that at briefly touches on family issues on the Hallmark Channel on Sunday Nov 20 at 8EST/7CST.  (check here for local Channel listings).

Here is the trailer (original title - "A Root Beer Christmas")

Wed Nov 2@7pm EST - PA Four Generations in a Row?

Every two weeks, join PAAO President - Jill EGIZII and her co-host, Judge Michele LOWRANCE for their Streaming Radio/Call-In Show "Family Matters".  The show deals with many issues surrounding family breakdown - but in particular "Parental Alienation".

The next segment will be Wednesday Nov 2at 7pm EST (5pm MST).  Their guest is a Dad who has experienced PA - but realized in this journey that he was also alienated from his father.  Now he sees it occurring in his own children's relationships - so the question is - will PA affect a 4th generation?   That is a scary idea.

Call-In your questions/comments to (347) 539-5024.

Check out "Family Matters" Radio on SyndicatedNews.net every other Wednesday night at 7pm EST.
Listen to it LiveStream online and call in your questions to (347) 539-5024. 
(Archive of each show is available online or as downloadable MP3 shortly after broadcast.)


Reminder - Nov 16 show will feature Bill HUDSON on "Parental Alienation - Hollywood Style".   Bill was  a former star and half of the "Hudson Brother" music group.  His was alienated from his young children Kate and Oliver Hudson by their mother Goldie HAWN and his book will be release before Xmas.

We need your vote!

We need your vote!

A funding proposal (Idea #12035) by a PAAO member, Frances Uhran of Ontario has reached Round 2!

It is a simple "beauty contest" where the most votes wins (and you can vote once per day until Nov 9).

Please show your support by VOTING TODAY (and every day until Midnight Wed Nov 9, 2011).

Go here and login under FaceBook account 
- or just enter in a normal manner.


Lets see if we can keep the momentum going!
Thanks!

AACAP+CACAP Conference in Toronto - UPDATE

Kris Titus and Sandy Scervino

PAAO Volunteers and Board Members in Ontario, Canada reported back that our booth at the 58th Annual Conference of AACAP+CACAP (American+Canadian Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry) in Toronto ON has been well received by attendees (the Conference runs from Oct 19-23 at the Metro Convention Centre on Front St in Downtown Toronto).


Out of the an expected 5,000 participants, many were interested in the mandate of PAAO and a number of contacts were made internationally with mental health professionals from Australia, China, Ireland, Israel, Japan, Portugal, Spain, Sweden, Norway, Turkey, the UK, Scotland, and all over the United States (including Puerto Rico). 


Dr. Bill BERNET of Vanderbilt University, Nashville TN dropped off a copy of his proposal to include PA in DSM V and the ICD 11 - and a number of interested individuals signed-up to participate in a Working Group.


Brian LUDMER of Toronto also deserves special thanks for rallying to a last-minute call for help.


Much Thanks goes to Sarvy EMO, Penny FISCHER, Barb MILLS, Kris TITUS, Sandy SCERVINO and of course VP Robert SAMERY who coordinated everything for the booth and everyone. (My apology if I left anyone out.)  crj [updated Oct 22]